Down the Rabbit Hole

The world is upside down.  

Have I ever talked about how I stayed away from my family for over a year and a half because I have a PTSD response to them?  The expression "you make me sick" must at one time have been literal.

This is because my family is nuts. 

Really, there is some weird kind of  mental illness, undiagnosed, that runs straight through my genes. 

Some symptoms:  

1) Constant inane conversation in which insignificant details are repeated over and over and over:

My mom: "Blah, blah, blabbity, blah, blah."

Me:  "Mum, you told me that already."

My mom:  "No I didn't."

Me:  "Yeah, you did

My mom:  "Blah, blah, blabbity blah blah......"  (completely ignoring me)

Me:  (Form pretend gun, place to head, pull trigger)

Listening to my mom's stories is soul death.

2) A complete lack of awareness of others' personal space or boundaries.  

Me:  "Mom, quit grabbing my ass and kissing me smack on the lips."

My mom:  "You know you like it."

3)  Pathological contempt and judgment of others

My mom:  "That doctor doesn't know what he's talking about.  Why just the other day I heard Sharon Osborne on The Talk say blahbity, blah, blah...."

4)  Debilitating self centeredness 

My mom:  Blabbity, me, blah, blah I, blabbity, blabbity, me, me, me.  Also refer to #1

My mom broke her leg, dad had hip surgery and now my grandmother is in the hospital with a compression fracture.  Did I mention no one in the family drives?  Oh, wait a minute.  I drive. Mmm, hmm. 

Being around my family is akin to being invited to jump right in and join the crazy.  Boundaries people.  You can have your crazy, just don't go crossing over into mine. 



MTV

YIKES!  MTV turned 30 last week.  Jesus freakin H. Christ am I old.

When I was young MTV was THE place to go for music, the iTunes of its day and though I was too young to venture into the bars  I could find all the synthesizers, cowbells and whistles a girl could  handle right there on cable.   Endlessly fascinated by the many gender bending artists, I was constantly on the lookout for any hint of girl/girl, boy/boy love, asking myself "are they or aren't they gay?"  Of course my answer was always yes, even though it was mostly wishful thinking.  A girl can dream can't she?

Here in no particular order are my top 10 "gay" music videos.

10)  Tina Marie -  Lovergirl  

The title is Lovergirl (one word) but what I heard was "I wanna be your lover, girl."  Mmmm hmmmm.  Oh and um.... boobs.

80's Fashion was the Bomb

9)  Duran Duran - Wild Boys                Synthesized cowbell anyone?

Boobs

8)  Taylor Dayne - Tell it to My Heart               

7)  Sylvester - Do You Wanna Funk  

Did I mention how much I love synthesizers, cowbells and whistles?  Almost as much as watching half naked men roller skate around a dance floor.  Someday I'll tell you about the time I almost got run down at the now defunct Traveler's Club. LOVE this song.  It was a big part of my first "gay" picnic, what little of it I can remember. (due to alcohol not age)

6)  Yaz - Don't Go     Big girls. Always liked em.  I promise though no more boobs.

OK so I lied.

5) Michael Sembello - Maniac

Well at least it's not boobs this time

I had it bad for Cynthia Rhodes. You go with your bad self in your leotard, leggings and bandana. I actually have a picture of Sunshine and Happiness from her college days in just such an outfit. Sorry, can not post on pain of death.

4)  The Weather Girls - It's Raining Men   Well...OK!

3)  Anything by George Michael or Wham.

2)  Depeche Mode - Personal Jesus      BEST. BASS LINE.  EVER.  Danced to it every time it was played much to the dismay of whomever I was with and they played  this song A LOT.  (Sorry BP)

1)  Madonna - Holiday    Least played.  Most gay.

Oh and almost forgot.....Boobs!

Happy 30th MTV.  It's all downhill from here.