Friday, August 5, 2011

Hide and Seek

SYTYCD Season 2 - Hide and Seek

In 2009, as I was driving along in my car minding my own business a song came on the radio that brought me up short.  The chorus and lyrics were familiar but not the verses and for the life of me I couldn't put my finger on where I'd heard it before.  The hook stuck in my head and I found myself singing it over and over and over, all OCD like.

This what I couldn't get out of my head:

"Mmm whatcha say?
Mmm, that you only meant well. 
Well of course you did. 
Mmm whatcha say?
Mmm, that it's all for the best.  
Of course it is. 
Mmm whatcha say? 
Hmmm, that it's just what we need.
And you decided this? 
Mmm whatcha say?
What did she say?"

Confused I went home to the Almighty Google and found Jason DeRulo's single Whatcha Say . (Which by now every person in the entire world has heard approximately oh, 1 billion times.) This then led me to the Sacred Wikipedia where I found Imogen Heap's 2005 beauty Hide and Seek.  Apparently most folks assume Derulo wrote the chorus to Whatcha Say but it's actually a bastardized sample from her song.

And then it hit me where I'd heard this before.  A few years back Sunshine and Happiness and I were compulsively addicted to So You Think You Can Dance.  S&H loves to watch dance competitions and the yumminess that is Cat Deely was enough to convince me.  During the finals choreographer Mia Michaels set one of her routines to a mashed up version of Hide and Seek.  Oh, Mia, Mia, I miss your pompous ass.

 But on to where it is I'm going with this.

When I found the original Hide and Seek on iTunes it got downloaded PRONTO!   Then every time I listened to it inevitably I'd start crying at "you won't catch me round here," be snotified by the chorus and at the end dissolve into a heaving, sobbing mess.  It felt like being stabbed in the gut.  The song brought back every "this is for your own good," "this is just what you need," "this is all for the best," that I'd heard in my lifetime.  Right before something awful happened. Over and over and over, all OCD like.

Mommy issues anyone?

After awhile though my blubbering remarkably turned into anger.  Horrible, festering anger.  Homicidal, destructive, long suppressed um rage actually.  Oh my!  And so I came to find out, through the suckass feelings evoked by this song, that when I allow myself to feel emotions regardless of how ugly they are and I allow them to come up, despite my natural tendency to stuff them, that I also get to let go of them and make room for the good stuff like happiness, love and joy. 

And so as much as I HATE the song Whatcha Say I'm grateful to Jason Derulo.  Grateful because his song led me to Hide and Seek.  And now I don't have to do either anymore.

 Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek 

Check out Fightstar's acoustic version on youtube.