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| Natalie Dee Comics |
On Friday at the workshop, prior to beginning the first writing exercise, Diane came and stood in front of where I was sitting on the couch. She looked really tall! The room we were in was the clubhouse for a plan of homes called the Fields of Nicholson and the room was my favorite color - YELLOW! (I feel like using lots of exclamation points today!!!!) Anyway, the meeting room had cathedral ceilings, a gas fireplace, full kitchen and best of all did I mention it was yellow? The bottom half of the walls were a medium shade of mustard and the upper half and ceiling were a cornhusk shade. The furniture was comfy chic. And the couch, the couch was a sit and you sink so that you might never be able to pull your fat ass up and out of it cushy. But I digress....
Before the writing exercise started, Diane came and stood in front of me and held out a pen for, oh, I don't know, like 30 seconds or something. I already had a pen. I had numerous pens actually. I came prepared. I ignored her at first but she kept standing there and finally she arched her eyebrow and looked at me and said "Well?" I got pretty irritated and whipped the pen out from between her fingers. This was apparently what she'd been waiting for because she said "why did you do that?" I was now annoyed AND confused and I said "well what else would I do?" Alright, pay attention because this was my AHA moment. She looked at me, laughed and said, "You didn't have to take it. You had a choice." Hmmmm, I thought pensively. At first I didn't get it, as in I didn't really see it as a choice. What else does one do when someone insistently stands in front of them with a pen? And it was then that I realized this is how I have lived my entire life. Being compliant, taking an action because it is what I think someone else expects of me or wants of me, and not even seeing that I do, I do, I do have a choice. Hell yeah, I have a choice. I am responsible for my actions and HA, everything is not someone else's fault. Which leads me to this question, can it really be a choice if I don't know that I have a choice?
