Tuesday, March 29, 2011


You will respect my authority!

Ok, so I'm not big on authority.  I hate to be told what to do and I am not good at following directions.  I mean I really hate answering to anyone.  Loathe actually.  Chances are if I am being told what to do I will either 1) do the exact opposite, most often to my detriment  2) be compliant and do what is requested of me but then do something passive-aggressive  3) do as told but purposely f things up or 4) do as asked but bitch, moan and complain so much while complying that the person in authority will avoid ever making a request of me again.

I remember once drinking to excess.  OK more than once.  OK all the time.  Anyway, this one time (at band camp) I was drinking Gallo burgandy wine.  You know high end stuff.  Woo-hoo!  I had drunk a goodly portion of a gallon jug and it was obvious to everyone that I was shit-canned and soon to be either passed out or worse, sick.  Per usual though, I just could not get enough of this nectar of the gods.  I poured myself another large glass (ok plastic cup) when my friend forcefully said "don't drink that."  I immediately raised the glass to my lips, and can vaguely remember thinking to myself "hmmm, this might not be the best idea",  just as another friend said "I wouldn't do that  if I were you."  Well,  you know of course what happened. I chugged the entire thing.  As fast as I could.  As hard as I could.  Without taking breath or pause.  It went down, it came back up.  Mmmmm purply goodness.  So there.  No one tells ME what to do!